"American Royalty:" What Kim Kardashian Wore to Wed Kris Humphries

Alright my Lovely Ladies and the Few Fabulous Lords who are reading this blog. . .

From what I've read so far. . . Last night's wedding was a lesson in why money can never buy class. . . Here is a brief recap of the attire donned at the "2nd Royal Wedding," of the year. . . Let's start with Kim, the least disappointing part of the wedding (After all,Vera Wang always knocks it out of the park). . .From the blurry paparazzi pics I saw this morning, Miss Kardashian wed in an ivory sweetheart strapless dress, with a full tulle skirt that had Chantilly Lace applique.  She reportedly wore a diamond headpiece made by Lorraine Schwartz (no big surprise there), Giuseppe Zanotti Shoes (a nice choice), and more Lorraine Schwartz Jewels (shocking).  For the reception, Kim supposedly changed twice.  Her first dress sounds reminiscent of MY dress, but thankfully I don't care for Chantilly Lace.  Her dress was an ivory mermaid gown with Chantilly Lace and an organza bottom.  There was no information yet about her third dress of the evening.  Below are my guestimations on what she wore. . . The first two pictures being the ceremony dress (try to imagine some combo of the two, minus the bow.  Kris Jenner must have stolen the missing bow for her dress).  A combo of the third and fourth dresses is how I have envisioned the reception dress.

In other news. . .  No one really cares what Mr. Kardashian (aka. Kris Humphries) wore.  I hear, a black Zegna suit for the reception, and some, "white and back" combo for the ceremony.  Enough said there!  Mrs. Humphries, may have lost her last name, last night; but no worries there, she kept the Kardashian tradition of tackiness, alive and well!  Black and white weddings are SO 1994, and mandating that your guests also wear black and white. . .UGH . . . Your guests spent thousands on your wedding gifts from Gearys. . . Let them wear what they want!  From what I saw earlier this morning, the cake was a 10 tiered black and white atrocity.  But the mother-of-the-bride, takes the aforementioned cake.  Kris Jenner looked every bit the, "momzilla," in a white satin, "confection," with a hideously large bow.  I am told the bridesmaids were, "Pippa clones," all clad in ivory, though I've yet to see a picture . . .And, HOT off the presses. . .The Cross during the ceremony was covered in Swarovski Crystals. . .I am officially horrified!

I am not at all surprised by what I've seen and read!  Kim and Kardashian Sisters; STOP listening to your mother!!!!  Kim, when you tried on her old wedding dress, like 90 episodes ago, you should have realized that she has BAD TASTE!  If you are keeping score. . .Kate Middleton-10, Kim Kardashian-0.

More information to come as more pictures emerge . . .Until Next Time. . .

Your Disgusted Duchess,

Boldbroad xoxoxoxo

In order of appearance, Vera Wang dress pictures courtesy of,marshu.com, wedzillablog.com, and marilynskeepsakes.com;