Royal Watching: What Will Angelina Jolie Wear to Marry Brad Pitt...

Dear Fellow Fashionistas,

Where oh where do I begin...I am so sorry for my long hiatus (lost old job, found new job, started in choir, choir started again, planning a wedding, moving a wedding from FL to AZ), you know, the normal things that keep a girl busy...Ha!  I am back thanks to a conversation with a dear friend who shall be known as JS.  JS reminded me over dinner last night, that my brief hiatus had turned into a serious sabbatical, and it was time to get back to writing my little blog.  So...JS...this one is for you!

When people first began talking about the impending nuptials of Ms. Jolie to Mr. Pitt, I really couldn't be bothered.  I mean, it's hard to make a toothpick look pretty, her recent clothing choices are confusing to say the least, and the will they-won't they crap had all but ruined several perfectly good years of US Weekly Magazines.  I was totally over Brangelina!  Until I started thinking (I know, scary, right), what if we could save the soon to be Lady Pitt from her usual pitfalls (pun intended), of wearing vials of blood around her neck (a la Billy Bob Thorton), or writing Brad's name in blood on her marital tee shirt (circa Johnny Lee Miller)?!  Who wouldn't love a modern version of Pygmalion (My Fair Lady for those who avoid the theatre).  What if just one time Angelina looked more like the lady than the tramp?

I began by pondering Angelina, both the good and the bad (unfortunately, there has been ALOT more bad than good)...Remember years back when our friend Angie only had one or two tattoos?.........Well, I DON'T ( I do however remember when she dressed like a goth to attend the Academy Awards and lip locked with her brother James, I digress)!!!!  This image to the right, depicts the Angie of old...I mean, that woman has more ink than the Bic Pen Magnet.  Thank goodness for body makeup, and let us start by praying that she invests in some serious Dermablend, before her next trip down the aisle.

Once we get past the, "body art"(never gonna happen), we must remember that Angie has made some fatally foul fashion mistakes in the past year.  Where should we start?  I know, how about the emerald green long sleeve Atelier Versace dress, that took Angie from siren to school marm in one dress flat....Some shameful stylists praised this fashion failure, and I can only suspect they did so, to reward not having to view her terrible tats...But wait, it gets worse, WAY worse...Three Words...Angelina, Golden, Globes...Hey Angie, Cruella DeVille called, and she wants her dress back!  NOW!!!!  A word to the wise, Ms. Jolie, I would strongly suggest you avoid Atelier Versace...Two miss hits are more than you can afford Missy!

OK...now that we have ridiculed the ridiculous...Let's gather the good.  I remember a time when the Jolie-Pitts consisted of Angie, Brad, and Maddox...Granted, that lasted for about 9 months, but during that gestation period, we saw Angie at her best.  Who can forget the emerald earrings and her head turning Ellie Saab gown at The 2009 Academy Awards.  Delicious dress, marvelous makeup, elegant earrings...OH MY!  This is the Angelia Jolie, that we want more of, right?!  OK Angie, you have proven that you are capable of class and your groom has been named, "The Sexiest Man Alive," like 40 times.  You owe it to the world, well at least to my readers, to wear something sensational to wed the ever fabulous Brad Pitt....

Here are my suggestions:

1.  COVER YOUR TATTOOS-  I don't care if they bare the latitude and longitude of The Holy Grail, buy some Dermablend, and use it!
2.  Don't wear anything Goth, and if you must, please don't make out with your brother...It really creeps us out!

3.  Avoid Atelier Versace...If you start to feel weak, review the previous pictures, and at least five times repeat the phrase, I look like a freak in AV!

4. Be the lady that you are and wear something beautiful by Monique Lhuillier,  Romona Kaveza, or Temperley London.

5. My final word of advice, though it pains me to say this...Ignore the critics, even little old me...After all, It is your day..................... but may I suggest a few fabulous frocks....I couldn't resist!!!!

 

Here is wishing you gorgeous gowns, luscious locks, magnificent makeup, and a fabulous future!

Until Next Time...

Your Duchess of Dish,

Boldbroad xoxoxoxo


Picture of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt courtesy of USWeekly.com,Picture of Angelina and Billy Bob Thorton courtesy of Allwomenstalk,com, Picture of Angelina and James Haven courtesy of Natassie.livejournal.com, Picture of Angelina Jolie's tattoos courtesy of fashionfame.com, picture of Angelina in green Atelier Versace dress courtesy of sharefashions.com, Angelina in white and red Atelier Versace dress courtesy of redcarpet-fashionawards.com, picture of Angelina in Ellie Saab courtesy of Mahalofashion.com, Monique Lhuillier wedding dress courtesy of MarthaStewartWeddings.com,Romona Kaveza dress courtesy of keyinging117@blogspot.com, Temperley London picture courtesy of suite707.net....